What Brings Me Joy

While in California this summer I was not expecting to miss Indiana so much. Most of all Ted. Ted is my father in law and quite a remarkable person. The Ted I know is nothing like the Ted my husband has grown up with his whole life. The Ted I know is a quiet fellow whose been battling Alzheimer's disease for over 12 years. I occasionally take him for his beloved ride. I love our rides. He sits, he stares, his eyes scan the room and the voices creating the sounds that fill the air that surrounds him. He smiles when smiled at, and answers with one word answers when spoken too. “I feel good!” He says, shocking everyone with an addition of two extra words.The same mind that took care of himself at a young age with hopes of finding treatment for his Polio. Taking one step at a time. Each step may have been taken a little slower than most, yet he succeeded in business quicker than them all. Ted retired at 40, and found love in college in his 30’s. He bore two brilliant children whose, minds are equally as sharp as his own, as it was, as it is no longer.

We sit in the car, I drive, he rides. We past that old barn for the millionth time, for him it’s the first. Again with a sentence conjured up on his own, “That’s quite an old barn.” I smile, he still has it. That charm they all speak about. From before, when he could think of witty one-liners on his own, and interject with a smart-ass comment or two. The Ted who ran several businesses at once and was ‘The Boss’ to over 100. The Ted I never met before I entered this family. I’ve only had the joy of knowing the Ted of today. The Ted who sits in the passenger seat beside me, smiling every time I make a dumb joke. Or try to croon to an oldie on the radio. He laughs every time.

I turn on the radio, we continue to ride. “That’s’ Dean Martin,” he states again on his own. “Why yes, Ted! Your right.” Looking around at the country road and the four stop signs before us, I say, “Oh no I think we're lost again!” Ted suggests we make a left. We are no longer lost.

While in California I took my children to a park. We were waiting for the restroom when I noticed a small bus full of elderly folks unloading. There were about 10 older ladies and gentleman being directed to sit at a picnic table to wait for the chef who had traveled with them, to fire up the BBQ and enjoy an afternoon lunch in the park, and us. I couldn't help it, we had to go over and chit chat.

"Come on guys, I miss Grandpa Ted, lets go say Hi to all of those Grandma's and Grandpa's!"

I noticed how some of them had that same glazed over look in their eyes as Ted. I introduced myself as if I were a surprise celebrity guest joining this fantastic outside gathering. They received my introduction in the same manner. There were 3 elderly Chinese men sitting away from the others, one was holding a cute dog. I directed my two oldest to go and visit the dog knowing well enough that my kids loving pats to the dog would be appreciated by more than the canine. One of the China men had a disgruntled look and wouldn't smile at anything. A lovely women started asking me questions as I was still going threw the row of folks shaking each and every hand as if THEY were now the celebrity. One of the aides, who I think was in shock that

i even gave them the time of day, pulled the only gentleman who was in a wheel chair closer to me. I could tell she wanted him to participate in this great ball of stimulation that had just sauntered over. She said, "Hey Charlie, why you so far away?" I noticed he had on a brand new Marines Corp. baseball cap. I commented on the cap, "What a brave Marine you are." He furiously took the hat off, I noticed he was wearing his services pins on his collar also, a great number of pins that I had wished I had asked him about. He looked at the hat and uproariously spoke, "Marines?! Why the hell did they put a Marines hat on me? I was in the air force, flew and fought in WW1, we weren't on the ground!" His aide reminded him that his son had brought it by.I shook his hand in great admiration and thanked him for serving our country! He smiled and then bent his head down. I looked over to my kids who were playing with the dog, The disgruntled China man was now laughing at my son who was throwing a pile of leaves in the air......right next to the raging flames of the BBQ. "OK, we better go!" I announced. I started saying my good byes. A few of them spoke to me, some started to speak then forgot how to, and some just didn't pay any attention at all. As we were walking I heard a huge "HEY!" rustled up from deep inside one of the Grandpa's. I stopped to look back. The aides looked as surprised as I was. The one gentleman who never engaged with me at all waved me over to him. I sat on the bench next to him grabbing his hand and apologized for not introducing myself to him personally.

He looked at me as if I was his lifeline to the outside. He motioned for me to come closer as if he had a secret. I reached in and gave him my ear. He whispered: "If you see Bob Morrow, tell him you saw me here." I asked him his name, he took his hat off to shake my hand as he introduced himself proudly.

I assured him profusely that I would for sure tell Bob Morrow that I saw him having lunch in the park with his friends. He gave me a look that pretty much told me that I was wrong about that.

As I walked away the aides thanked me and said it had been a whole month since the last, "Bob Morrow" request. I walked away missing Ted, and realizing that once we moved back to Cali I wouldn't have the joy of taking Ted for rides anymore.

Back to Ted and our ride. We pull up to our favorite vending machine, "So your buying right?" I ask.

Knowing well enough he will fall for my on going joke. “I’ll pay you back once my wife gives me back my wallet!” A sentence! Wow! We both chuckle, my laughter is joined by tears of happiness. A sentence is HUGE! I’m happy he still tells the same joke each and every time.

I pull out a few bills and get out of the car. “Don’t let anybody steal ya Ted, They'll have my hide if I loose you.” I say as I lock him up. Again he laughs at me. Yes I said, AT me.

I retrieve our favorite soda and proceed with our driving ritual. I find our favorite tree we like to park under while we watch people drive back and forth to the local fast food junket. (OK OK, we get a PILE of French fries first) then I retrieve the bendy straws that I’m sure not to leave the farm without. We are about to share a memory that I'll keep, and Ted will not. But He will enjoy life in that minute, second, that very precious moment.

CRACK! I pop the soda can and stick the bendy straw in it. I tell him to wait for me so we can take our first sips together. I put my straw in a can of Red Cherry Cream Soda. We drink, we sigh with pleasure and smile at each other because in that one moment we both are 6 years old, and tasting a bit of our childhood from that straw. A childhood only one of us can remember, but the taste of that cream soda says it all. This is what brings me joy!

This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you joy contest.

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