Hollywood Farm: My Baby Is No Longer A Teen That Means Im Old

I had her when I was 19, the same age she is today. When all of my friends were way into their junior years in college, I was giving birth. She and I grew up together. She used to ride shot gun in her car seat in my Red Hot Chili Pepper graffitied Volkswagen bug. She waited in line at The Palladium in the rain for concert tickets at the age of 4. She learned all of the lyrics to Jane's Addiction tunes while donning an Anthony Keidis face on cue. I was a young mom, young enough to chase after Aaron Carter's limo at Kailyn's first concert just to show her it was OK to be a fan! I was the only mom that day chasing after the limo. Also the only mom wearing purple doc martins and wife beater with cut off Levi's and flannel to match the boots. It was the 90's!

She and I were always together. Day and night, in the bed, out of the bed, at the park, at school. I let her go to school at 3 years of age, and I followed her becoming a teacher at her school because I missed her so much and didn't trust anyone. I cuddled her to sleep every night while she slept in my bed until she was 12 years old. I stood beside her when her friends treated her poorly and lifted her up when ever someone tried to knock her down. I walked her through her first crush and made sure she had a keep safe box for all of her crush items, like Carmel Apple lollipops, pencils, and trinkets. I pulled many an item out of her mouth as she is always chewing on some foreign object. I watched her getting stared at in the car as a child. Strangers smiling at the 3 year old buckled in her car seat.

Her shy face would always turn away from their smiles.

"Do people smile at you a lot honey?" I would ask

"Yes, I don't like it!" she seemed confused.

"It's because you are beautiful and no one has ever seen such beauty in a child like yours. They are smiling because they are adoring you..Get used to it, and don't ever be ashamed for being beautiful"

To this day, while walking behind her in a public place I watch peoples' jaws drop once she has passed. Making sure to give the evil mommy glare to the old men who are looking in the wrong places. I've always been there to guard and protects her. She walks proud as if she in unaware that she is stopping traffic, the way that I taught her, owning up to her beauty. She exudes peacefulness and love, rather than the snotty attitude that most of the Orange County girls are born with. Not my girl, she is pure salt of the earth.

I watched her eyes light up after surprising her with a limo that drove up to our house on her 16Th birthday full of 10 of her best friends including her crush.

I taught her how to tell people she was smart also, after hearing on a daily basis how stunning

and beautiful she was. It never went to her head. When she was 2 weeks old she was admitted to children's hospital for a week. The entire staff made pit stops in our room one by one, as word got out that the most beautiful baby was just admitted. I've watched people stop their cars in parking lots just to come and see the angelic child that was riding in my shopping cart. I've listened to many people tell me how sweet her soul is, and how loving and caring she is with others.

I was there when the doctor told her she was type 1 diabetic, and she would have to live with this illness for the rest of her life. Stoic and strong she gladly accepted the responsibility and

burden of living with the disease. I've watched her eyes well up when I told her I had to move out of state and she would have to stay with her dad. She was so strong never protesting where other teens would have surely cursed their mom's out. She has never once disrespected me her entire life!! I guess that's a sign of good parenting.

(So what happened with my littles?) I've never lied to her and always answer her questions truthfully.

SO she is turning 20 in just a few days, although I am reliving her birth today. The first of her many due dates, as she came 6 days later.

Now a sophomore in college she proves to be my all time favorite accomplishment in life. No sassy, no bitchy, no disrespect. Her eye for photography behind the camera is amazing, her eye for writing is even greater. She has the good Lord in her soul and His love is shining through her eyes. If I died tomorrow, because of her I am complete, and would die happy and fulfilled just knowing

she exists in the world. I know she will always carry my legacy and is pretty much the only person on this planet who really gets who I am!

I love you my sweet Angel Baby! My gift directly from God. My angel plopped right down onto my lap when I was just 19 years old, your age today. No longer a teen tomorrow. You are my all time greatest achievement and goal in life. One I never knew I had, until i had you. Happy Birthday baby!!