Going Green By Laziness, Panic On The School Bus, and Great Small Town People

To ensure that I ACTUALLY PACK SOMETHING TODAY!!

I'm re posting from one of our first winters here.

It's winter on the farm again and for some reason I'm not as cold this year. Am I getting a thicker skin? Impossible! After growing up in a family full of Italian women. All loving, bickering, protective, and barking at me from my very beginnings, I'm proud to have skin as thick as a Rhino. It's not as cold this year because I'm not standing outdoors wearing my winter gear smoking a cigarette! Yes, I am proud to say and shout it from the roof tops, I am nicotine free!! FINALLY!!!

The adventure to a grit- free year began on Christmas Eve. I'd just finished the last bite of a fabulous meal cooked by my ever so talented sister in law. When off I went...heels spinning like a cartoon character running towards the bathroom where I began a vomiting marathon that would last for 72 hours. Yes, I missed Christmas, a visit from my oldest daughter and New Years Eve. I was down for gosh-darn 7 days with the swine flu. During those 7 days there were a few moments when I actually thought I was a goner. I could feel my heart working over time while trying to catch my breath. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, stroke, SOMETHING! The pressure on my lungs and heart was so apparent.

As soon as I felt better, without making any resolutions or extra pressures on myself, I've chosen to watch carefully what goes into my body chemically. I guess you could say this is the year I'm going organic, 'Officially'.

I say officially because there has been a misinterpretation of my character. I had a friend visit the farm last summer who was shocked to see what a non-organic person I was. With all of my drinking, smoking, profanity, and woofing down junk food at midnight routine. I couldn't possibly understand how she could have thought I was a, 'Holly Go Natural' type of girl. It appears that I've gone green only by laziness. After moving to the farm there were certain life style changes that I've become accustomed to . For instance, we choose to not use a microwave. "Why the hell would you do a thing like that?" You ask. Not because I absolutely enjoy making 3 to 5 home made fresh meals a day. F---- No! (Fortunately for my family I am , 'BAD TO THE BONE' when it comes to making quick meals. Homage to my Italian mother.) We do not use a microwave because I made the conscious decision not to. For those who are new readers you must know I moved from suburban Mesa Verde in Orange County California, to a 100 year old farmhouse out in middle of the country in the Mid West. I'm POSITIVE that if we had a microwave I would be going downstairs into the basement every freaking second replacing a fuse. I can see myself now trying to zap a cup of water for morning tea, blowing a fuse, having a total meltdown before lazily gearing up mentally to GO IN THE BASEMENT with a flash light. This California girl is not familiar with homes with basements, and this basement is super duper creepy!!! Its huge, and has many turns and corners and rooms. I'm not scared!!! Really I'm not...(It appears to have been an underground railroad hideout but that is another chapter.) Yes, going green by laziness all started with the no microwave action

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Hmmm how else did we go green by laziness? I was all excited to mention that we burn all of our paper products to suffice my pyromaniac tendencies. To my surprise I'm harming the atmosphere by burning trash, so I probably shouldn't mention that. (Yeah I know I just did) We no longer use plastic storage containers, as I've been saving every jar that comes through my kitchen. Glass is cleaner and less clutter. So we cut out all of the squeeze and easy convenience bottles off of our grocery list, PROPAGANDA BY THE WAY all of that convenient marketing crap!!!! The chickens have made it easy to recycle all of our produce clippings and fruit shavings. We give the hens all of our left over blueberries which allows us to spare our septic tank from backing up. AND WHO EVER KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT SEPTIC TANKS ANYWAY?????!!! That sure was a surprise last summer when it needed to be replaced. I always thought a septic tank was a botched Colonoscopy.

All in all living on a farm has it's benefits!! We couldn't be happier here it is amazing to live in a small town where everyone watches your back. Example #1. Yesterday I was literally following my 5 year old's school bus to our house. I was waving to all of the kids sitting in the back. (Did I mention there was about an inch of hard ice on the road?) I decided to turn left as the bus went straight and would eventually end up at our farm in about 7 minutes. I knew there were many stops ahead before the bus actually approached my house. As I was 1/2 mile away, the car burped, and my transmission plum dropped out on me! I had two babies in the back seat, and now suddenly coasting with no transmission on an icy country road, while crossing over an itsy bitsy mini bridge. I prayed my car would roll into the approaching farm. Thankfully my payers were answered. After that panic, the next panic came flashing to my brain. MADELINE IS GOING TO GET DROPPED OFF AT THE HOUSE WITHOUT ME!!! It's -1 degree outside. OH SHIT!!!

(If you've never felt -1 temps you must know, it BURNS. Really BURNS! Its hard to explain if you've never felt it.)

Scene of the crisis

I was frantically calling the bus driver and bus garage, I kept getting voicemail. Of course she isn't going to answer her phone while driving on 1" of solid ice!! PANIC MODE LEVEL REACHING MAXIMUM HEIGHTS AT THIS POINT. I knew the bus had to pass where I was stranded. So I waited. Shortly after, (-2 degrees by this time) here came the bus. I wondered if she would notice me? If so, how would she be able to help? She had a bunch of kids to still drop, and this was a little country road with nowhere to make a U-turn. What if she blows past me and I have to walk in the snow with babies and groceries. (Now I'm sounding like my 92 year old Grandmother.) Oh Susie the bus driver saw me alright, and without missing a beat she piled me and my babies into that bus so quick and backed that bus into that farm like she was driving a VW and peeled out on her way to my house. My frantic self, babies, groceries and all!! I turned and looked at all of the silent kids i was waving to 10 minutes earlier sitting in their seats blankly staring at me. I complimented them on their silence.

While driving to my house Susie told me to dial a number on my cell and asked for the phone. She began shouting into the phone. "Start up the tractor, pull out the white Lincoln at the Parish Farm and bring it to Alberta's." Silence, then she began again after a deep sigh while turning onto our icy country road at the same time. Louder, " GET THE TRACTOR AND TOW THE WHITE LINCOLN THATS IN THE PARISH'S DRIVE AND TOW IT TO ALBERTA'S!" Perplexed as to where my ar was geting to towed I asked, "Who's Alberta?". "She's the women who lived in your house for 25 years." Susie said as she opened the door to helped me out with my babies and groceries. Madeline had found her way inside and was doing her homework. I KNOW! She hadn't even noticed that we weren't there!

I'm still learning all of the new names for certain locations in this town. To the locals who have been here longer than some of the trees, some places will always stay the same. All in all, I had two farmer's, the Farmer's wife, Susie the ever so valiant bus driver, and the kindest, sweetest tow truck driver all bend over backwards to make sure that my family and I were safe. To you all, Thank you. I'm going to love becoming a staple figure in this town and soon everyone will know where, and who, reside at Hollywood Farm! Thank you Greenfield, this is the beginning of a long love affair!